Here again i lie in darkness,
Struggling to see the light,
Through this pain,
Through my tears,
In this unfamiliar place.
Lonliness knawing,
Knawing at my heart,
Whilst depression and anxiety,
They suffocate me,
Whilst i watch in fear.
I see my hopes and dreams,
Across a dark unreachable,
Unreachable void,
Not knowing how to go on,
Yet knowing there is no going back.
Whilst my tears pour,
My desperation increases,
Not knowing where to go,
Nor how to soothe this pain,
This neverending pain.
The one question circling,
Circling in my mind,
Is not how could i prevented this,
Nor why did this happen,
But what is it about me that drives,
Drives people away?
A few people stay,
But sooner or later,
They come and go,
Leaving a path of chaos,
Or they leave without,
Without me knowing why,
And that tears me up,
Tears me up inside.
My biggest fear in life,
Is the thing i experience,
Experience most often,
Some sort of abandonment,
Or rejection,
I try my best to avoid them,
Yet a way in they always find.
So that is why,
Why i keep on asking,
Why, oh why,
Do i always drive people, or
Or opportunities away?
And answer never comes,
Yet it never stops,
And more and more,.
Do i find,
The future looking more bleak,
Each and every day.
All without knowing,
Know how to escape,
To relieve this pain,
To reach where i should reach,
To ffind my way,
For now i am lost,
Lost in this darkness that surrounds.
By Natalie.
