Another couple of poems

What to do about you?

Conflict rises,

Emotions stir,

What do I want?

Where so I stand?


The more time I spend

Spend with you,

The less time

Time I want to spend apart


My life brightens when

When you are near,

When you pop up,

My heart swells.


Yet ready for this,

I certainly am not,

Neither are you,

Yet my thoughts are

Are always of you.


The more time we spend,

The more I learn,

The more I want to learn

The more I want to spend.


Yet. Off-putting this may be,

My insecurities stir,

As I realise,

Realise how fast I'm falling for you.


Worst timing there couldn't be

When it comes to this

When all I was seeking

Was someone to be a friend.


So now I face such a challenge,

To read your mind,

To hear your heart,

Whilst comparing it to my own

This is where the challenge lies.


I hope I do not mess it up

Push you away

For fear of getting close,

Or rejected by you.


All I know is that,

In this time,

You hold,

Hold a special place in my heart.

Whilst I,

Figure out,

What to do about you?









Quiet Beauty


When I first saw you,

Something stirred,

My intrigue started,

Desire grew


Desire to know more of you,

To get inside your head

To learn about your life

And see where things lead


A conscious decision

This may not have fully been,

Yet the more I learn,

The more I want to know


Shy yet open

With such a quirky air

Mixed with

With quiet beauty within


Whenever you show,

My heart skips

Excitement grows

Just to have a glimpse


The more I get to know,

Know your quirkish charm,

The more I think

The more I ask,

Is this the one for me?


A budding Crush looms

This now I cannot deny

Though is this what I want,

Is this something in ready for?


What if this is one sided?

What if my hopes are crushed?

My world upturned

Should I speak my thoughts.


For now

Now I am content

With just siting and

And waiting

To see where this path leads.


Though this path

Path frightens me

For of three possible outcomes,

Risks I cannot take,

If heartache I wish to keep at bay


So now I must pretend

Pretend that when I see you

When you message me

My heart fills not with glee

As my world in an instant,

Melts all around.


For now I wait

Wait and see

Where this path

Path my heart has chosen

Chosen for me will end.


Will my feeling grow?

Can they even be returned?

So much I don't know,

And so much I want to learn!

Future Uncertain

Life around seems strange and distant,

Like im on the outside looking in

Darkness looms, Pain grows

As depression and anxiety grows

 

With the future gaining fast

Panic sets in

As I ask myself

Am I ready for this?

 

I have decided to press on

As I can’t turn back,

There is only one direction to go

This time I hope it works.

 

So many thoughts swirling

What if I fail?

What if I fall?

Will loneliness overcome?

 

Amongst all this

A strange feeling grows

A looming crush

One unexpected

 

With so much on the line

Is this something I want right now?

Or even can deal with this?

I don’t think it’s the time

But I cannot decide

Decide where my heart will lead

 

What will happen now

Only time will tell

The next year is full of Hope

Hope and opportunity

Or will it end with all my dreams,

My dreams shattered on the ground?