Saturday, 28 July 2018

Why I think you need to read "Undivided: Coming out, becoming whole and living free from shame" By Vivky Beeching


I have spent the last 3 hours reading “Undivided” by Vicky Beeching. (before writing this which taken about 1hr and a half)  And just Wow, this is the most brilliant and amazing memoir I have ever read. Although the book is obviously deeply faith centric, and I strongly felt God working in and through Vicky’s life and story, there is so much in this book, not just for those who are in the Church.

I myself identify with a fair amount of issues raised in the book, especially when it comes to repressing parts of yourself, for whatever reason, and I know from my own experience how harmful it is. I identify as a Transgender Woman, and a Christian myself. So, I know how hard it is to come to terms something that is a part of who you are (which I have already somewhat written about on this blog already (not this blog post but the blog in general)).

With myself though it has cost me one of my closest friends at the time, and  any chance of a relationship with my Dad and a large part of my family. After telling my Dad in order to have a relationship with me, he has to accept me as me, and not to pressure me, this was his reply “You protect yourself. Sorry. I have two daughters already. Dont need other fake one. If thats how you feel then its goodbye. I have not time for misconceptions of personality. Faggott

And that will be the last thing I’ll ever hear from him (especially after all the damage he did BEFORE that (as my Nan and them he abandoned me to social services (literally, when I was 7/8))

And I only bring this up, as I know that many people will be easily be able to relate to Vicky’s story and relate to similar experiences in their own lives. Especially those who are a part of the Church, but even those beyond can read this, and know that they are not alone in their struggles, and it is good, healthy and right to talk about them, and to accept, and love who you are. Which can be a long process but it will be worth it and better in the end.

One thing I was constantly thinking whilst reading Undivided was that this book is going to make waves, and have a huge impact, and is part of the groundwork, that Vicky, and others are essentially working towards. Which is a major shift in Theology. Which I’m excited about, especially as it is a field I want to one day enter into myself (academically). And in this divide between the Church and the LGBTQ+ community can and hopefully will, be broken.

Also, I think another thing Undivided captures, in essence, is how painful and stifling to both Individuals, and the Church as a whole, the drive to conform to beliefs and tradition, without and open mind or heart. As by doing so, you don’t allow God to come in, break, and remake you, which is an essential part of being a Christian. Not to be rigid in your beliefs, as that is something that causes experiences that Vicky has described in her book.
But more importantly I strongly believe in by being so rigid, and inflexible to change, you are shutting off the great potential God has for you, and in this you are shutting off the flow of his love and grace, which often flows through you and into those around you. And therefore, being rigid can help to suffocate a church, and lead it astray from the calling God has for you and the church you are a part of.

The most important message which I took from the book (which I’m not exactly sure was fully intended) goes beyond what the church needs to do, but what the Church and society needs to do. Especially in this day and age.  This is to become “Undivided” to look past our own preconceptions, our fears, our ignorance, pride, or whatever else it could be that can stop you from seeing, instead of the label of what makes them different to you, to see the person that stands in front of you, with the same wants and needs we all have, as we are all Human.

But in order to be able to get to the point where we can do this, we need to find a place where we are, in Vicky’s words,
“Freed from shame and fear, we are finally able to live, and love, from a place of wholeness. We find peace. We become complete. We become people who we are, at our deepest core, undivided”. If we can make the steps to do this individually in our own lives, then hopefully, person by person, it idea, will not just be something for own individual lives, which is crucial. But hopefully can be transferred to something we can do to help transform out society so it too can be undivided.

I know that this may be a strange way to write and go about a book review (as it wasnt exactly a review, but meh). However this is what I got from, an amazing, and inspiring book, from a person I admire greatly, from her old music career to her coming out story, and now this book, and someone I look forward to seeing what they have in store for the future in Theology.
And I just wanted to write and share, what I got most of all (which is only scratching the surface) and most of all, I encourage you to go on amazon, or see if “Undivided” is in your local book store, and pick up a copy and read it, whether you are a Christian or not. As I strongly believe that the book, and Vicky’s story is well worth reading as there is so much you can take away from this brilliant book. And I just can’t recommend it enough, it’s just amazing.

And I just want to thank Vicky for being strong, courageous and willing to share her story, for us all to draw from. Which is why i believe that sharing personal stories like this, in and out of Church, is becoming more and more important, as even just having this conversation, and these stories being out is helping to erode the barriers which have been up for far too long.

Thanks again to Vicky for her book, and I recommend you all to pick up a copy and read it for yourselves, it is something you definitely wont regret doing.

Hope you have found this post somewhat interesting. (and really doesn’t reflect how good the book is)

Hugs to all,

Natalie Xxxx

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